onsdag 31 december 2014


2014 began rather weird with a blow to my confidence. It was something that would continue during the year. The reason was simple, a poorly chosen spot and broken lens for my new years photography led me to purchase a new lens, but I do not feel I have accomplished the awesome things in photography that I did in 2012 and 2013. After all, 2013 and 2012 had me showing off my photos in photo exhibits and getting quite a few well paid jobs. There has been none of that in 2014, despite that I feel that my technical skill has increased. I aim to correct that in 2015 and I need to change my attitude about the entire thing as well. I need to feel that I can preform properly.

2014 was also the year I did a Rainbow Six Cosplay / Airsoft Gear. This is something I have wanted to do for ages, and I did it in less then a month. It was a Cosplay that fitted Retrogathering and completely aced the otherwise mediocre Comic Con. I think I will never forget when the Försvarsmakten Recruiter checks what I know about close quarters tactics and we end up having a small demonstration about it. Got rightfully slapped on my wrist for not always pointing the weapon down tough

I still have a sense of unreal feeling wearing the Rainbow Uniform. I love it. I really do. Rainbow Six is one of my favourite franchises and getting to cosplay that is for me an honour. The photo shoot that turned into a frocking short movie is something I will turn into a tradition. It has also provided me with the bravery to pursue the cosplay I been wanting to do ever since I heard of Cosplay.
2014 has also been a year of friends. New friends, old friends, what could have been and what never was. Some of it was expected, some was not. Some seems to have quietly disappeared and I miss them for it, not having the courage to ask if there is a problem and some others have appeared, met in the most interesting of circumstances. You win some and you lose some, but I prefer not to lose some at all. The guilt over the people I feel I should pay more attention to is also evident.

I started shooting. Well, I done the non-gunpower part of shooting for some time now, but I joined a club and started getting down and friendly with a nice .22. It is relaxing to say the least and a good way to cool off and just forget everything else. Next year, I will be able to purchase my first weapon and participate in tournaments and then we shall see if I am as good as I think I am.

2014 was also the year where I proved to myself that I can actually write a decent story and publish it online. While it is not the best story ever, it was written in 30 days and I got loads of friends and experience from it. NanoWrimo is awesome and I while I swear I wont do it again ever, I think that promise will be broken.

In short, 2014 has not been 2013 and that may have been the problem. 2013 was such an awesome year for me that 2014 had no hope to compete with it. It had to be better then a romantic summer, it had to be better then a job that got me 10 000 SEK right down in the pocket, it had to be better then a warm, nice summer, a cozy autumn and an airsoft filled spring. There never was much chance for 2014 in my book. 2015 will not have the same disadvantages. It will come right after a mediocre year and I will make the best of it, starting with a gaming night will those of my friends who wish to come. Let that set the tone for 2015.

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